So I decided that I kind of understand why I do what I do. Why I sit in the practice rooms for, oh, 7 hours a day. Why I can't help but do what I do to the fullest extent possible.

It came to me the other day when I was driving home through West Virginia about to hit the MD border...

I don't know how long my life is going to be. That is my motivation. The fact that it all might end tomorrow... hell, the idea that it could all end in 5 minutes. I want to do something GREAT with my life. And that means I can't waste my time on bullshit. I need to do what actually matters. If I want to leave a mark of greatness, then I have to work HARD. If I want to be remembered after I'm gone, I need to be the best that I can be. Not only in music, but I need to be a good person, I need to touch lives. I feel like the best way I can touch lives is through music, whether it's teaching, performing, researching, anything. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist, which tends to be a good thing, I think. Even if I can't be the BEST, I want to be the best that I can be. And I think that's a good aspiration.

In other news, I think I'm going to buy Olivia's English violin.

And I also think I am going to apply to the RAM, but we'll see about that when the time comes.